I miss you Mum

Okay so, maybe I lied
I didn't think I would make a post until after exams, but I feel obliged to make a post seeing as today, it is exactly one year since I lost my beautiful Mother.

I don't want to make the post too long because it's all very difficult to write.





Dear Mum,

I miss you beyond what words can describe. It feels so strange without you here every day, and every day I wonder if this might be a nightmare, and I'll wake up and you'll tell me everythings okay, Angel and you'll hug me till I calm down. I feel like you are so close I could touch you but I know I will never be able to until I pass on too. I can almost smell the warm coffee and sweet perfumed smell of you. I can picture you in your brown dressing gown, stepping down the stairs and giving me the most wonderful smile as you come into the livingroom and tell me some funny story or ask if I'm okay. My ultimate wish is to have you back. Even though I know these wishes won't come true, I still blow on dandelions, fallen eyelashes and birthday candles hoping that maybe one will come true. That maybe you will be back here with me where you were happy. You were beautiful inside and out and gave the best hugs in the world. I am so beyond proud to call you my Mum, and you were a perfect mother, you never ever let me down and you were always there for me. I'd like to think you are still here in some way, helping me. There are so many things I wish I'd said to you and I would do anything for just five minutes with you, even if it were in just one of my dreams. What they did to you was evil and wicked and I hope that they pay in some way for it, although I know your kindness would even extend to your murderers. I hope I can become even half the woman you are and you are my true inspiration.

The hardest thing I ever had to do and ever will do was say goodbye to you as you were sedated in a hospital bed. The tears streamed down my face and even just thinking about it makes me teary.
Know that I love you beyond words can describe my Darling. Rest in Peace, you deserve peace and love after such a hard life and struggle.

I'd like to add that I recently got a new tumblr, dear readers.

http://www.darkeyesuniverse.tumblr.com/

please check it out!

Love and Kisses
Kathryn xxx