Collision

Hey,

It's been a while since my last post, and to be fair it was pretty crappy post. Exams are coming up so this is most likely the last post before I sit my Higher Exams and set the path for my future I suppose. One main worry has been the focus of my mind lately but it's not something I can be sure of - to truly know I'd have to put my trust in a type of people I can never trust, so I'm sort of trapped in this position. But in my head, I know I'm right: it would explain a hell of a lot!

So I was bored while studying chemistry and my mind started to wander. I started thinking about collision, but not the science kind. Take a moment to think about it. Everything collides with each other. Your body - if things worked individually, you would die. In the street, if traffic lights worked independently of the actual traffic flow, all would be disrupted and chaos would ensue. It's sort of like our lives.

I'm sure we've all met people that are almost magnetic - you are drawn to them, and sometimes they are drawn to you. Something is sending you together, whether they be a friend, a lover or even just a family member you haven't met before. I feel lucky that I have several people in this category. I'm not sure whether its a sign that they will become great people, and by great I meant special/influential, whatever. Or whether they will just be very important to you or carry out some important task that's connected to your life. It might be all three, or it might just be crazy chemicals in your brain. But I feel science has already proved that chemicals in the brain aren't just rubbish - they're important. 

So why is it these people exist? I think they must serve some purpose that is interconnected with us in some way. Because every little thing is connected to and relies on, each other. Sometimes, moments in time, or physical places impact with us. These moments, so electrically charged with emotion and power, create us. Like the big bang, only they impact our personality, our life, our way of thinking. Sometimes it's a song or an object. But there are always moments, greatly happy in our memory or terribly sad. I can name several of mine. Most people will share common ones, like your first kiss or being in a car crash. Yet they still remain wholly ours. Completely individual.

These moments make us who we are. These magnetic people shape us. I'm sure your parents always told you, what you do will have consequences. And anything you do will have consequences, even something good you do could have bad consequences. The moments that impact us, it's what we do with them that ultimately makes us.

There are billions of possible futures, billions of possible paths we could be taken down. It is not the destination it is the Journey that is us. We have so many opportunities and there are so many moments that impact us. Be grateful for the good ones, and stay strong through the bad ones.




I'll post after exams!
Love
Kathryn xxx

And Action! (My Top 5 Quirky Movies)

Hey,
The weather here in Glasgow is set to pick up and I'm glad for the sunshine. Exams aren't too long away but the sooner they are over the better. So guys, I thought you'd like to here some of my top movies, this post being Quriky movies. Films that are young, maybe a bit weird, like that one wild older cousin we all have who has an unhealthy obsession with Vintage clothing. Here you go:


5) Youth in Revolt

Directed by Miguel Arteta in 2009, Youth in Revolt is a hilarious Drama/Romantic Comedy (although it's not overly romantic tbh) about Nick Twisp (played by the Young King of Comedy himself, Michael Cera) whose parents are on the verge of divorce. He sets his sights on his dream girl Sheeni Saunders (played by the wonderful Portia Doubleday) and desperately tries to get her to like him.

Seriously, everyone needs to see this. It is beyond hilarious, with a nice depth to it (suppose that's the slightly Romantic side). There are a few cringey moments however I can say it is pretty parent friendly as movies go nowadays. I watched it with my Mum and we both loved the film. It was uplifting and so funny. Michael Cera is amazeballs, as shown in Adventureland and many of his other movies. Credit has to be given where credit as due, as Portia is just brilliant! I cannot emphasise how much you all need to watch this, boys and girls a like.
Great for Dates and Summer Blues!!! Now go see it!

4) Silver Linings Playbook

Taking you forward to 2012, SLP is a beautiful movie directed by David O' Russell adapted from the novel of Sir Genius Matthew Quick. I would personally like to shake this mans hand. You sir, are a Genius. Embrace it. Saying this, I actually haven't read the Novel yet, however I will get round to it this Summer - It's on my reading list I swear!

After a period of 8 months in a Mental Institution, ex-teacher Pat Solitano (the gorgeous and talented Mister Bradley Cooper) returns to live with his parents, his father Pat Sr. (played by Robert De Niro). Pat finds that reconciling with ex-wife is going to be harder than he first thought, after the incident 8 months ago. He unintentionally seeks the help of quirky mysterious Tiffany (played by my girl-crush Jennifer Lawrence).

I thought this was going to be pretty off-the-wall and I didn't think my Dad would like it however he did as it wasn't as completely off-the-wall as would be expected. Sir Bradley Cooper is beautiful to look at (obviously) and his acting is impeccable, truthful and believable. I was crying with laughter at the beginning because the lines are so sharp and witty. A wonderful movie to watch, parent friendly and a nice change with the different topic and style compared to the usual boy-meets-girl crap nowadays. Personally, I would say Lawrence is at her best in this and certainly earned that Oscar. A Must-See. Perfect for Dates or Chilling out with some friends.

3) Midnight in Paris

Directed by Woody Allen in 2011, Midnight in Paris is one of those movies I have watched countless times. It's also one of my Dad's favourites. It's one for the Art lovers.
Gil (played by quirky Owen Wilson) is a successful writer who is struggling with his first Novel. He has travelled to Paris with his pretentious fiance Inez (played perfectly by one of my favourite actresses, Rachel McAdams) and they are joined by her parents who are on a business trip. Gil falls head-over-heels in love with Paris and wants to move there after they are married but Inez does not see the beauty of Paris. He goes for a walk at Midnight which changes his life - he is propelled back into the Revolutionary-Rich age of the 1920's and meets some of his heroes.

This is a wonderful movie! It highlights the beauty of Paris and the 1920's (one of my favourite time periods) in a perfect nostalgic way that's just so watchable. There are some good laughs especially the portrayals of Ernest Hemmingway (played hilariously by Corey Stoll) and Salavdor Dali  (played wonderfully by Adrien Brody). The big names only add to the ambiance as Marion Cotillard, another of my favourites, who plays Adriana is wonderful as is Tom Hiddleston who plays Fitzgerald and Michael Sheen who plays John (although we don't see much of the last two). Look out for Lea Seydoux - French model and Actress. 

It's lighthearted and more gentle than other films so it's perfect for Art Lovers and watching with the family.

2) Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Let me take you back to the year of 2008, when Swine Flu was lurking about and the Shannon Matthews Case hit Britain over the head. Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist directed by Peter Sollett and adapted from the Novel by Rachel Cohn, is a wonderful comedy that focuses on Music and Young Love. It's certainly one for Music Enthusiasts.

Band member Nick O' Leary (played by the wonderful Michael Cera - anyone else thinks he loves playing people called Nick??) meets Senior Norah Silverberg (Kat Dennings), an acquaintance of his recently-ex girlfriend, Tris. In the club, Nick sees Tris is with another guy and is amazed she could have moved on so quickly. After being dissed by Tris, Norah asks Nick to pretend to be her boyfriend in order to look cool. Throughout the film, Norah searches for her friend Caroline with Nick and his band, The Jerk Offs, help while they also look for the mysterious "Where's Fluffy?" concert. It is an awesome movie, on level 99 of Badassery (This Term Is Property Of Scott)

This film is one of the main reasons I love Michael Cera. Kat Dennings is wonderfully down-to-earth and the movie is quirky and a good easy watch. It's less parent-friendly in some places as there's a few references/scenes that may be not to their taste. It's a Must-See people! Perfect for Music Lovers and Sleepovers!

1) The Perks of Being a Wallflower

This is an epic movie. Based on the critically acclaimed Novel by Stephen Chbosky (who also directed it), The Perks of Being a Wallflower graced out screens in 2012. This is another one for Music Lovers however music is more of a theme. Logan Lerman plays Charlie, a mentally-troubled 15 year old trying to come to terms with the suicide of his best friend and the death of his Aunt Helen as he starts high school. He wishes to find a group where he belongs and finds this with Patrick (the epic Ezra Miller from We Need to Talk About Kevin) and his step-sister Sam (the beautiful and talented Miss Emma Watson). They unleash a different world for Charlie.

This is one of my absolute favourites. I've watched it countless times and the depth still gets me. Charlie's character is very easy to like and for me, he's very easy to connect with. Sam and Patrick also resemble some of my close friends. It's beautifully filmed and the acting is exceptional! Not really parent friendly due to some of the themes and the references but still a great movie. GO AND WATCH IT NOW!

Happy Movie Watching!
Love,
Kathryn xxx

Just Breathe

Hey,
So as I promised, I'm gonna give you stuff you actually want to read. Today's post maybe isn't as cheery as my favourite movies or best songs at the moment. But this post is very important. I actually came up with this post after watching the One Show last night.

A section of the show highlighted Lung Cancer. Most of us know little about it. It generally affects older people however it can still affect us young folk. And you don't have to be a smoker to get it: as a smoker you are 15 times more likely than non-smokers to die from the disease, but it can and does affect non-smokers. There is little awareness of the disease even although by 2015, it is predicted to be the biggest killer of European women, more so than Breast Cancer. Some of the common symptoms:

• A cough that lasts 2-3 weeks or a cough that gets worse. If it won't go away, get an appointment. It may be an ordinary infection but the earlier lung cancer is caught, the better the survival rate so better to be safe than sorry.

• Persistent chest infections
• Coughing up blood or sputum
• Breathlessness
• Tiredness/Lethargy
• Unexplained weight loss
• Chest/Shoulder pain

Less common symptoms include Finger clubbing (the ends becoming larger or curved), Wheezing, Swelling of the face, Fever, Pain when swallowing, Difficulty swallowing and a Hoarse voice.

Cancer affects not only the patient but their family too. It's something I have personally witnessed.  It can be difficult to tell your partner, children or other family members but there are many ways you can receive support. You may want to put off seeing a Doctor as you think it's nothing. Please please if you or a family member have any of these symptoms, make an appointment. It could just save your life.

For More Information on Lung Cancer:

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertypes/Lung/Lungcancer.aspx

For Further News on Cancer:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-21945812

http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-info/news/archive/cancernews/2013-02-12-Lung-cancer-will-kill-more-European-women-than-breast-cancer-by-2015?ssSourceSiteId=ch&view=rss

If you would like to raise or donate money for MacMillan:

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/donate/

Best Wishes,

Kathryn xxx

Hello to New Beginnings

Hey,
It's been a while. I sort of have a thing for blogs but I neglect them. My last two weren't very positive, probably due to my bad state of mind at the time of composition. Yeah, maybe things are getting a little better, baby steps, one at a time. If you've not read my previous blogs, then Good. That means I can start afresh. If you have read them, then I suppose that could be a good thing too. You can see how far I've come since then, maybe?

Perhaps I should give a little background. I'm not gonna bullshit you. There's enough people in this world for that. Basically, yeah I'm kinda crazy. Bounce off the walls a lot. Not literally - that would be more fun. Ha ha. I get really upbeat then I get really low. I don't have a name for it. I'm sure there probably are hundreds of diagnoses that squeeze me into little brown boxes with nice clear white labels plastered on the front. I've been given different ones in the past, but that's not important. Giving conditions of the mind names can make you fearful of yourself. That is not a good route, I assure you.

I think I may be genetically predisposed to things like "depression" and "anxiety" but I'm unlikely to ever find that out in my lifetime and if I get the opportunity I'm sure I will turn it down. Everything has a trigger though. My Mum passed away almost a year ago now, I'd only just turned sixteen a few weeks before. I don't like my Birthday at all. I'm not going to get knee-deep in details. You don't need to know too much. She died, in a very horrific and painful-to-watch way and she still had time left but it was taken from her through Medical Negligence (which we are fighting to prove) and it makes me very angry, mixed up and numb. But mostly angry. No one likes being around me when I'm angry. Mostly because I say things that I usually regret and I'm not gonna lie, I feel like hitting people a lot.

I find it hard to describe my Mother in words. I'm not even sure how or where to begin. She smelled like warm coffee and slightly of flowers, although I can't narrow it down to a species of plant or anything. She had a difficult life. But she made mine wonderful, every day, just by being there. I'm not going to speak for my sister - this is not her words or her blog and I doubt she'll ever read any of this. But I know she felt what I felt about our Mother - there was something there that made you hopeful for humanity. All the wars and shootings and child abuse and scumbags you see every time the TV. is on and none of it stood a chance while such purity and kindness existed. It is a crime for it to be removed from this Earth with such brutality. However, I hope to find that again, in someone. Perhaps someone retains such a quality.

Jay does. I'm unsure how to tell you about Jay too. And perhaps I don't want to, just not yet. We all like to keep secrets to ourselves a little longer because they're ours, they're special and belong to us. I'll say one thing. He has the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen.


I think that's enough background for now. I wanted to talk about New Beginnings. They say the hardest thing in life is to say hello for the first time and goodbye for the last. I disagree. I think all Hellos are easy. It's the letting-go that is the hardest. I find it hard myself. I wanted to talk about this because everyone needs to know when something ends, something else always starts. That's not to say your ex-wife is gonna call you up tomorrow and beg for you back because she was stupid to be such a slut and cheat on you and leave you and take the kids. Sorry man. I think if you're looking for some comfort, this post can only help to a small extent. You're better trying Match.com. I'm in no way affiliated with them btw. Just saying...

I think had I told myself the New Beginnings line, oh say about two months back, I'd be in the hospital because I'd have beaten myself up. Badly. With a hammer. It's hard to think logically when your heart has been split in two, crushed underfoot and thrown against a concrete wall. Then it was forced down your throat, just enough so that every time you swallow, you feel it all coming back up, like that bad Chinese takeaway you had in December. Jokes aside, it really does feel like that. No amount of words can really repair that damage - I know that, you know that. So in no way am I going to take a superior outlook on this.

I can tell you how I've come to see the New Beginnings. This blog is proof of that. I'm going to try and give you useful information, stuff you actually want to read. Mix it up a little, yknow. But first I want you to sit back, stop pulling faces and please stop blubbering into your ice cream/vodka. By God, don't mix those together...
I've been in very low places, not too long ago. This is a kind of Catharsis hopefully to resolve all this anger and violence and rage bottled up inside. I can't say that I'll ever be fully cured from all this pain - I still have flashbacks on a loop, nightmares. I don't like hospitals and I don't trust Doctors or medical staff. I became ill of my own doing in February and the Doctor wanted a blood test. I freaked out. I don't think I'll ever really overcome that unless I get some gruelling expensive therapy, but I'm not ready for that yet.

You have to start by wanting New Beginnings. I know it took me a while to even want to live life. You have to look at everything. Look at your friends, your family, your lover. Your enemies. For some it takes five minutes. For others, months, years. Don't torture yourself because it gets you absolutely nowhere. This is just advice. I did. It didn't help but it made me feel better for a short while. I don't have all the answers right now. But if you're struggling. If you're grieving/upset/angry/ill/misunderstood. Stick with me. Stay with the blog. Just check it out every so often because perhaps one day, one post may help you. May comfort you. Or may just cheer your grumpy ass up.

So here's to fresh beginnings, hope and starting again. Screw New Year, we don't have to wait that long. Take a break, start afresh. Do what you feel is right.

Love and hugs,
Kathryn xxx